Igor Ranc

(disclaimer: not written by LLMs)

Special announcement: You can get yourself on the waitlist for Handpicked Mentors Program. From the newsletter:

“I’d like to use this newsletter platform to enable us to meet and mentor each other in a classical or more modern way (peer, reverse, group, but NEVER PAID). If you aren’t into it, I won’t be doing it, so let me know you are interested by putting yourself on the waitlist.”

Too Long; Didn’t Read

After regretting not having a mentor, I advise finding mentors to understand workplace and life dynamics, network, and gain perspective.
I offer tips on finding mentors and nurturing relationships.
I provide brief checklists along with opinions from Handpicked Berlin readers.

I messed up by never having a mentor

One of my biggest regrets is that I never invested time in finding a mentor. If I could turn back time, I would have gotten at least one by the second year of my big corporate job. 

If at least one of them became a sponsor, things would have been much easier career-wise. They would have explained which game we were playing and probably told me not to bring my basketball to a football game.

On the other hand, if I had corporate mentors turned sponsors, I would probably not be writing this. Or I’d be writing it in an Olymp* shirt. 

I am here to pass on the message: Mentors are crucial not only for a career but also for life. Try this mentorship thing. You’ll probably be better off, but of course, never forget that hundreds of successful individuals have never had mentors, yet they thrive. In Olymp shirts or without.

*typical southern German brand for corporate shirts in southern Germany

What are the (mutual) benefits of mentoring?

Having a mentor is no guarantee for success and could, in the worst case, be just another thing to add to your busy schedule. But it’s totally worth a try! When starting to look around, look for someone who can help you:

  1. Understand the rules of the game (at work or anywhere else)
  2. Connect with great people 
  3. Challenge your views and perspectives

You don’t need recipes (“do that and that”), but someone guiding you to places with recipes (“what if you”, “have you ever”) that’ll finally enable you to develop your unique recipes.

At least initially, a mentor is not a sponsor, a powerful arranger of things. Mentor is also not a coach, someone you pay to help you solve a “problem”. If someone is selling paid mentorship, you should probably call them your coach. Mentorship requires mutual benefits: you can’t just take and not give back.

Your benefits include:

  • acceleration in career/hobby/life,
  • skills improvement,
  • network expansion,
  • confidence boost,
  • improved decision-making,
  • personal growth,
  • and others.

These benefits are hard to measure but extremely important, and your investment of time today will pay dividends down the road because nothing is more valuable than a series of warm introductions or fresh perspectives.

Your mentor will, in return,

  • gain access to a motivated and driven human being (and trust me, these are rare!),
  • observe you make progress,
  • gain fresh perspectives,
  • improve leadership skills and emotional intelligence
  • and get personal satisfaction seeing you make progress.

Mentoring is also an excellent opportunity to reflect regularly on their journey.

Ok, now we know. We need mentors, and mentors need mentees. But…

How to find a mentor?

Look for someone with qualities you admire and someone you’d enjoy having a coffee/beer with. You don’t need a preacher but a guide that will guide you towards solving your problems, almost like a therapist.

They can be from your industry, but it’s not a must. Look for someone who will understand and appreciate your unique background and aspirations.

Ideally, their experience and approach complement your needs. A great career-related heuristic is to think about whose “job” you want to have in 10-15 years. Be bold!

If you look for mentors for your hobby/life, you can look almost anywhere. Find anyone you’d love to talk to and learn from.

If you work in a large company, look for a mentor inside. This is especially important if you want to climb the career ladder. Who? Ask around, and approach your boss or more senior colleagues for advice. Again, remember to understand the difference between mentors and sponsors. It will be easier to ask for mentorship, which can eventually become sponsorship.

You might need to be more creative if you work for a small/tiny company, are unemployed or a student. It makes sense to look inside your industry and online. LinkedIn comes to mind, but be careful because it’s a sales/self-promotion channel. Ask around. Your friends, (former) colleagues, managers, and people you respect might know someone suitable.

How to pitch and nurture a mentorship?

Your potential mentor is likely successful, which means you will compete with others for their attention, so coming prepared is crucial. When you are ready to approach someone, ask yourself: How would it make me feel if I were approached this way? How would I react?

Your pitch should clearly state your mentorship goals and at least a couple of smart strokes of the mentor’s ego, for example, by doing good research on their past work. It makes sense to schedule an informal coffee chat to check the vibes. 

Finding a great mentor will be hard because people often drift into opinionated recipe-givers. It’s best to aim to have several different mentors. But be careful; more mentors will mean more work for the most important thing: nurturing the relationship.

Nurturing means taking the initiative by scheduling your sessions and sending reflections, doing summaries and learnings. You need to be the one actively initiating and keeping in touch. This will deepen the relationship. Always remember you should also give, not just take.

“Have several mentors advised a guy who never had one? Seriously?”
You’re right. I better get some! Drop me a message to get in touch.

Do you still need convincing? Check these out.

I did a bit of googling to find some famous examples of mentors and mentees to inspire you. Of course, these examples often had elements of sponsorship and deep friendship, but they clearly show that everyone can benefit from the mentor-mentee relationship.

The essence of mentorship is this 1:25 clip of Ray Charles talking about his relationship with Quincy Jones:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0O7vbDrf54

More examples:

The list goes on and on if only you spend some time looking around the internet.

Actionable closure - what could be next?

Mentorship game in 5 steps:

  1. Create and maintain a list of potential mentors
  2. Set mentorship goal(s) 
  3. Think of the frequency of meetings and how you will nurture the relationship from your side! Regular communication is your task!
  4. Prepare your pitch
  5. Approach by a warm intro or a cold message*

*Don’t ever be afraid to cold-email/message people; whenever you feel like stopping, do it more.

A suggestion for your pitch checklist:

  1. Research about potential mentors done?
  2. Are ego-stroking statements ready?
  3. Is your mentoring goal set? (achievable in 3-6 months, be SMART, have one or more)
  4. Nurturing plan defined? (agendas, preparation, follow-ups, regular contact)

You can also be much more informal and unstructured. Do whatever rocks your boat.

Besides the classical format, you can also consider other forms of mentorship:

  • Peer, individuals at similar career stages supporting each other
  • Group, multiple mentees together with one or more mentors
  • Reverse, mentoring someone more senior in age or position

Online mentorship resources

I wanted to add resources for finding mentors, but it turns out that the line between coaching and mentorship is blurred, mainly by the hourly rate you’d need to pay.

I don’t believe in paid mentorship.

Until I find something better, you can try one of the famous LLMs like ChatGPT or Claude, who will mentor you (almost) for free.

Handpicked Berlin readers on the added value of mentors…

Someone who asks you the RIGHT questions so you can find the right answers. It’s someone who inspires you, and getting some time from that person is invaluable! It’s not about finding THE mentor, but first identifying the type of support you need in different areas and then crafting a mentor map that can support you. 

– Mireia

A good mentor identifies areas that you need to work on, and they nudge you in the right direction. Every person is different, and a great mentor understands what makes the mentee tick and acts as a force multiplier with their uniquely tailored insights.

They also act as an accountability buddy and keep the fire on when you’re not feeling it.

– Sam

…and how to find one

I’m very passionate, and when I see someone also being passionate about something, I instantly connect and have the urge to talk to that person. Throughout my career, I’ve been identifying mentors and setting up virtual coffees with them, asking about a specific project they were working on, understanding also what motivates them and then building that relationship of exchanging tips and experiences regularly. 

At one of my jobs I started going very early to the cafeteria because I noticed that at that time, there were only top management having their early meetings and coffees. It was a great way to gain visibility, and start talking to them more informally and that’s how I found one of my main mentors I had at that time! Nowadays, I know I can still message or call him, and he will be there!

– Mireia

Finding a great mentor is very hard. You need to be open minded, ask lots of questions and engage in meaningful conversations across communities. Reaching out always helps because people genuinely like to help others.

– Sam

AuthorIgor Ranc

Founder of Handpicked Berlin — a weekly newsletter and community for Berlin professionals. Covering careers, salaries, startups, and Berlin life since 2020.